Steve Edelman, president of Connect360, provided Capitol Communicator with his 12 fearless forecasts for 2024. According to Edelman, “as we boldly move into 2024, let’s do it with some fun and not too much apprehension.” Edelman ‘s fearless forecasts follow:
- Long-term use of Ozempic will be discovered to turn people’s hair blond. This was not identified during testing because it was only tested in Norway where everyone’s hair was already blond.
- Elon Musk will change the name of X (formerly Twitter) to “?” to better describe his strategy for the business. People around the world will struggle to figure out how to pronounce this new name.
- Short people will be declared a disadvantaged minority group. Going forward, all profession and college sports teams will be required to have at least one person who is under five feet six on the team.
- Artificial Intelligence will allow scientists to talk with animals. Early results will find that animals find people are self-centered and annoying.
- Robert F. Kennedy will end his presidential campaign in April. His announcement will go largely unnoticed since most people thought he passed away 60 years ago.
- Ukraine will again changes the date for Christmas. In 2023, it changed the date from January 7 to December 25. In 2024, it will be changed to July 25, because the weather is nicer.
- Oakland Athletics will be the surprise winner of baseball’s American League pennant. They then will discover that they have no place to play their home World Series games. In their rush move to move the team to Las Vegas in 2025, management forgot to extend its 2024 stadium lease to include the World Series. This will lead to sports writers to refer to the team as the Homeless Athletics
- Ted Cruz will be caught having an affair with himself. He will claim it was consensual.
- The United States will offer Green Cards to all immigrants who invest $1 million in the country. This will solve the problem of wealthy immigrants trying to cross U.S. borders. Oops, this law has existed for years,
- Taylor Swift will buy the trademark for the word “swift,” requiring people to pay a royalty any time they use the word.
- August will become the last month of the year to be awarded a national holiday. It will be called Women’s Equity Day and be celebrated on August 26, the day the 19th Amendment was passed, giving women the right to vote.
- Punxsutawney Phil, the weather predicting groundhog, will refuse to leave his burrow on Groundhog Day due to the continuing controversy in Pennsylvania about the existence of global warming.
About the author: According to Connect360, Edelman is an expert on the measurement, valuation and financial reporting of Public Service Announcements by not-for-profit organizations. He is a CPA and has an extensive background in the application of Generally Accepted Accounting Principles (GAAP) to earned media valuations and in-kind donations nonprofits receive from broadcasting companies as part of their PSA campaigns. He is the author of numerous articles on the subject and serves as a resource to nonprofit CFOs, their CPA firms and professional publications.
Connect360 is a Capitol Communicator sponsor.